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6 Sleep Tips for Separation Anxiety

Separation anxiety is a normal part of development for babies and toddlers. It usually starts around 8 months of age, when babies start to develop a sense of object permanence. This means that they understand that even when something is out of sight, it still exists. This can be a scary realization for babies, and it can lead to them becoming anxious when they are separated from their caregivers.



Baby being held by mom
Mom holding baby


Separation anxiety can manifest in a variety of ways, including:

  • Crying when you leave the room

  • Refusing to go to daycare or preschool

  • Having nightmares about being lost

  • Clinging to you or refusing to let you go

  • Having trouble falling asleep or staying asleep

Handling sleep disturbances caused by separation anxiety can be challenging for parents, but with patience and consistency, it is possible to help your child establish healthier sleep routines. Here are some tips if you're dealing with sleep disruptions due to separation anxiety:

1. Create a Soothing Bedtime Routine:


Establish a calming bedtime routine that signals to your child that it's time to wind down and prepare for sleep. This could include activities like a warm bath, reading a book, or gentle rocking. Consistency is essential in helping your child associate these activities with sleep.


2. Gradual Separation During Bedtime:


If your child is particularly anxious about being alone during bedtime, try a gradual separation approach. Stay with them as they fall asleep initially, and then gradually reduce your presence over time. For example, you could start by sitting beside their bed, then moving to sitting near the door, and eventually leaving the room once they feel more secure.


3. Comfort Objects:


Introduce a comfort object, such as a favorite stuffed animal or blanket, to provide a sense of security and familiarity during the night. The presence of the comfort object can help your child self-soothe when they wake up during the night.


4. Respond with Reassurance:


When your child wakes up during the night, avoid rushing to their side immediately. Give them a few moments to see if they can self-soothe and settle back to sleep. If they continue to cry or call out, respond with comforting words and reassurance. Let them know you are nearby and that they are safe.


5. Consistent Bedtime and Wake-Up Times:


Maintain consistent bedtime and wake-up times, even on weekends, to regulate your child's internal sleep clock. This helps establish a predictable sleep routine, making it easier for them to fall asleep and wake up naturally.


6. Avoid Creating New Sleep Associations:


While it might be tempting to offer new habits or associations to help your child fall asleep, avoid creating dependencies that may be difficult to break later. For instance, avoid letting them fall asleep in your bed or using electronic devices to soothe them to sleep.



Remember that separation anxiety is a normal part of development, and it will take time for your child to adjust to new sleep routines. Be patient and understanding during this process, offering consistent support and reassurance.


Schedule a preliminary call if you need help to establish a plan.




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